Valentine's Day is a romantic time for many couples; a time when people express their love and emotions. But, according to a Christian Science Monitor estimate, there also are 80 million Americans who will be single on Valentine's Day.
While many singles are indeed happy, some are not. Last year the Monitor reported 14 percent of women in America sent themselves flowers on Feb. 14, an indication they may suffer from what CU-Boulder counselor Sharon Campbell calls the unspoken Valentine's Day slogan; "We must be coupled in order to be happy."
"I think that when you have a symbolic day like Valentine's Day it can exacerbate a feeling of loneliness, especially if a person is feeling out-of-step with the world," said Campbell. "This can set a person up to feel more alienated when somebody says all the time, 'What are you going to do on Valentine's day? Do you have plans?' "
Although Valentine's Day is associated with relationships, the media hype that surrounds all holidays in America, said Campbell, can make it very difficult for some people to feel good about themselves if they are not part of the majority.
"I don't want to blame the media for everything that happens, but I do think that the hype around holidays that says we should be having these warm, wonderful family reunions when the reality is some people don't, can be stressful for people," said Campbell. "And I think that it's true of Valentine's Day, too."
For singles who feel alienated and uncomfortable on Valentine's Day, symptoms of depression can become more apparent, said Campbell, adding that the pressure on people to be in a relationship can cause loneliness and withdrawal from society, and those who are not confident in themselves are more susceptible to feeling alienated.
"People who don't have a sense of self worth or have a good relationship with themselves, are less likely to have the energy and motivation to do the kinds of things that would make the day easier for them," said Campbell.
"On the other hand, people who feel comfortable with who they are and who have a good sense of self-worth are less susceptible to feeling lonely and depressed on a day like Valentine's Day, even if they're not in a relationship."
According to Campbell, there are many ways for singles to make Valentine's Day less dreadful, and even something to look forward to. Some travel organizations, clubs and bars target singles and entice them to get out and meet other singles on Valentine's Day.
Campbell advises single people to make the day their own and to put in perspective that having a romantic attachment, or not, is only one part of who they are.
Valentine's Day is named for St. Valentine, a Roman priest during the rule of Claudius II, who had the priest killed for refusing his order to stop performing marriage ceremonies. Before his death, St. Valentine wrote a note to one of his last visitors and signed it: "Love from your Valentine."